A Conversation on Hard Days

Some days are hard. You wake up and feel sad. Or empty. Everything feels heavy.

I have these days too. I feel like staying in bed. I do not want to talk to anyone.

When this happens, people tell me, "Be happy!" or "It will be okay." But this does not help. It makes me feel more alone. It just adds another layer of "wrongness" to how I'm already feeling.

I used to try and be happy. I tried to make the sad feeling go away all at once. I could not do it. I felt like I was failing.

Then I learned something new. I don't have to chase some big, loud joy. I don't have to fix my whole world in a day.

I just need to find one small good thing. One tiny spark in the dark.

I call this a glimmer.

A glimmer is small and quiet. It is the feeling of a warm blanket. It is the shock of cool water on a dry throat. It is one good, deep breath.

This is what I want to share with you. How I find these small glimmers on my hard days. It is not a big fix. It is just a small step. A way to be kind to yourself when things feel dark.

How to Find a Glimmer

1. Look for a Small, Good Thing

On a bad day, my head is full of hard thoughts. I feel sad. I used to try to think a happy thought to make the sad go away. It did not work. It just made me feel more tired.

Now, I don’t look for a big happy thought. I just look for one small thing that feels okay.

I use my eyes and my ears and my hands to find them.

·         I feel my warm cup of tea. I think, "This is warm." That is a glimmer.

·         I look out the window. I see one leaf. I watch it move. For a moment, I am just watching. That is a glimmer.

·         I listen to my cat purr. I feel my soft pillow. I taste a piece of fruit.

I am not trying to be happy. I am just finding one thing that is not sad. One small thing that feels okay for a moment.

That one tiny thing can help me through the next minute. And sometimes, one minute is enough.

2. Do One Small Thing for Tomorrow's You

On a bad day, I cannot help myself now. It is too hard.

So, I don’t try. I help the me who will be here later. I do a small thing for Future Me.

It is like leaving a good note for a friend.

I do very small things.

·         At night, I put a glass of water by my bed. I think, "You will be thirsty later. Here is water." It is a gift for future me.

·         I plug my phone in to charge. I think, "Tomorrow, you will be glad the phone works." It is a gift for tomorrow me.

·         I get out a clean towel. I think, "After your shower, you will like this." It is a gift for the me after the shower.

These things are very small. But they are important.

They help me feel that someone cares. And that someone is me.

It is my way of saying, "I see you. I am still here for you."

3. Let Someone Else's World In

On a bad day, I feel very alone. My thoughts are too loud. I have no light inside me.

I used to hide. I thought I had to be alone. But being alone made it worse.

Now I do something new. I let someone else's world brush up against mine for a moment.

I do not need them to fix me. I just need to not feel so alone.

So, I might send a text. I just say "hi." Or I send a funny picture. It’s a small way to reach out.

I might call someone. I say, "Tell me about your day." Then I listen. I hear their voice. I hear about their normal life.

This helps me. It reminds me there is a world outside my sadness.

If I cannot talk to someone I know, I go out. I go to a store. I sit on a park bench. I see other people living their lives.

It helps me remember that I am not alone. We can all share our light with each other.

A Final Thought

This was never about a big change.

I used to think I needed a brilliant flash of light to feel better. I was wrong.

Hope is a small thing. It's a little light in the dark. We call this a glimmer.

A glimmer is a warm drink. It is a clean towel waiting for you. It is the sound of a friend's voice.

These are small things. But on a bad day, they are everything. They help you take one more step.

You do not need to be all better. You just need one little light.

Find one glimmer. Then find one more.

This is how we keep going. One small light at a time.

You are strong. You can do this. One glimmer is enough.