A Message For You

I want to tell you something about me.

I used to take everyone's bad feelings. If a person was upset, I felt upset. If they were angry, I felt stressed. After we talked, I felt tired. Their mood became my mood.

I thought this was what a good friend should do.

But I was wrong.

It took all my energy. I had none left for me. I was always tired.

Then I learned something new.

I can be kind and still protect myself. I can listen without taking their pain.

It is not selfish to protect your peace. It is necessary. It is like putting on your own oxygen mask first on a plane. You must help yourself before you can help others.

You do not need to build a wall. Just wear a raincoat. You can stand in the rain with a friend, but you do not have to get wet.

This idea changed my life.

1. A New Way of Seeing Things: It's Their Weather, Not Yours

This idea helped me the most.

Before, when someone was negative, I felt I had to feel the same way. If they were sad, I became sad. If they were angry, I became upset. Their feelings became my feelings.

Then I learned to see it differently.

I started thinking of negativity like weather. When it rains outside, you don't get wet inside. You see the rain, but you stay dry.

Now when someone is negative, I tell myself: "This is their weather."

It's simple. If they are sad, that's their rain. If they are angry, that's their storm. It's happening to them, not to me.

I can still be kind. I can still listen. But I don't have to stand in their rain. I can stay in my own weather.

This small thought changed everything. I can care about people without catching their feelings. I can help without hurting myself.

Remember: their mood is their weather. You have your own weather to take care of.

2. How You Answer Matters: Don't Add Fuel to the Fire

I used to answer negativity in a way that made it worse. When someone complained, I would agree strongly. If they said "This is bad," I would say "You're right! This is terrible!"

I thought I was helping. But I was just adding wood to their fire. The negativity would grow bigger, and we would both end up more upset.

Now I do it differently. I don't agree or disagree. I just listen quietly.

When someone shares something negative, I say simple things:

·         "I see."

·         "That sounds hard."

·         "I understand."

These words don't add fuel to the fire. They show I care, but I stay calm.

It works better this way. The person feels heard. The negativity doesn't grow. Often, the conversation becomes quieter and shorter.

I can be kind without making things worse. I help them feel better while I keep my own calm.

3. Guarding Your Energy: It's Okay to Walk Away

This last tip is straightforward, but it makes all the difference.

I used to feel stuck in conversations. Someone would talk and talk. I would feel tired. But I stayed. I thought leaving would be rude.

I was wrong.

Staying too long left me drained and unhappy. I wasn't helping them, and I was only hurting myself.

Now I know it's okay to leave. I give myself permission to go.

I have some simple ways to end conversations. I say things like:

·         "I need to go now."

·         "Let's talk again soon."

·         "I wish you well with this."

·         "Excuse me, I have to do something."

These words are kind but clear. They let me leave without feeling bad.

At first, it felt strange. But now I see how much it helps. I keep my energy. I stay happy.

Remember: You can be kind and still protect your time. You can care about others and still care about yourself.

Now I never get stuck. I listen for a while. Then I leave when I need to. I keep my energy for my own life. This small change has helped me so much.

What I Learned

I used to feel tired after talking to negative people. Their problems became my problems. I felt heavy all the time.

Then I learned three simple things.

First, see their feelings as weather. When it rains, you don't become wet. You watch from inside.

Second, don't make their fire bigger. Use quiet words like "I see" instead of "That's terrible!"

Third, know when to leave. It's okay to say "I need to go now."

These things helped me keep my peace. I can be kind but still protect myself.

You have to fill your own cup first. Only then will you have anything left to give to others.

Be good to people. But be good to yourself too.